Transcending The Ego To Be Who You Really Are

Decide your life, or it will be decided for you.

As soon as you’re born, you’re given a name. Many of us are told what religion we’re going to follow. You’re labelled light or dark depending on your skin tone. Your sexuality is assumed based on your gender. Your identity is set, and your future is almost decided, for you. Now that these interactions have formed your Ego (social mask), many of you will spend your whole life trying to fit the mould and defend these beliefs that you’ve inherited. All this without realising that your life was decided for you, not by you.

As you grow up, you may begin to question who you really are – and the truth can be uncomfortable. You may start to realise that the life you’re living is not a true reflection of who you are deep down, beyond the conscious level. Jobs, relationships, routines, etc. all become draining. They feel wrong because they don’t represent the real you. Maybe you don’t know who that person is, but you know enough to know it isn’t the role you’re playing right now.

We’re constantly told that something is wrong with us for not being a certain way. For example, you might be labelled fat if you occupy more body mass than the average human being, and this may lead to the conclusion that you’re unattractive. This, of course, isn’t true unless you believe it is. But, we’ve been taught to label people and associate ideas together. Even in some cultures, if you’re light-skinned, you’re automatically considered more beautiful.

Do the things you love; that’s who you are

The world is full of Egos constructing other Egos. That means, a self-image will impose itself on another image, that a man or woman will identify with themselves. When two Egos clash, we get conflict; this is the reason for all our wars. Rarely are people free to be themselves – and if they are, they are often ridiculed for not belonging to a group of Egos. Once you wake up to witness that you are not your social mask, you have the opportunity to dig deep and find out who you really are.

An artist asked me,

“Who am I?”

I replied,

“Remember that amazing painting you made where you were fully immersed in the creative process?”

They then send,

“Yeah, that’s my best work!”

I continued,

“Well, you weren’t thinking then, were you? I bet you were just flowing, through your paintbrush onto your canvas.”

To which she replied,

“Yes! Totally! How did you know?”

I then went on to explain,

“That was you, experiencing yourself while your Ego was watching from a distance. And, how did you feel when you were painting?”

She described it,

“Blissful. Connected. In love with the process.”

This is the same feeling I get when I write. Sometimes, I’ll look back on how I’ve worded concepts and think: “That makes so much sense. I didn’t know I could convey a message like that, in that way, so quickly! It’s been something I’ve been trying to communicate verbally, but it just hasn’t come out right.” This is because when I am writing my ideas down, like this article, I am in the flow, downloading what I know from deep within the soul.

‘People will convince you to play a variety of roles in your life, but there’s one role you must always play: to be yourself and to do the things that make you feel alive.’ – Vex King

The ancient yogic teacher Ramana Maharshi used to say that to gain inner-freedom, you must always and honestly assert the question, “Who am I?” I believe that a great way to learn who you are is by questioning everything in your life. “Why do I do what I do? What’s the meaning behind it all? Why do I believe what I believe? Why am I here?” This might seem like a strenuous and pointless task, but it’s a great way to begin transcending the Ego. You can’t transcend it with intention – it just happens through awareness.

Let go of attachments, and you’ll let go of suffering

We do not need to give up our material lives by transcending the Ego – it will just help us live a more authentic, purposeful, and healthy life. Just as how the artist explained her experience when painting, we will feel more blissful, connected and in love. Transcending the Ego means going beyond it, not removing it. For as long as there is an active mind, there will be Ego. For as long as there is Ego, there will be desire. Therefore, it’s fine to have desires because even the most profound Yogis have desire; even if it’s an authentic desire to create a better world.

Nevertheless, by going beyond the Ego, we can lessen our attachments. For example, I desire people read my posts because I desire to help them – but if I stay attached to this idea, I will create suffering. I will fall back into the conscious habit of creating thoughts that define the situation as bad if people don’t read my posts and I can’t help them. This would then make me feel sad. Being in a transcendental state will bring your awareness back to a position where you can let go of thoughts like this.