Neuro-linguistic programming
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a technique that is used to communicate effectively with a listener’s subconscious mind. There are a number of NLP techniques, many of which are very complex. The more complex the technique, the closer you get to hypnosis. NLP techniques can be used to build rapport with an individual; this has a number of benefits.
Mirroring
Mirroring is one of the most useful NLP techniques and is used by many people. You may not realise when someone has used this technique on you because it can seem so natural. So what is mirroring? Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. It is where you mirror or mimic someone that you are communicating with. When I say mirror them, I do not mean copy everything they do, as the person you are communicating with will pick this up with their conscious mind. So if they drop their fork, don’t drop your fork on purpose in an attempt to mirror them, as they will most likely think you are weird! The mirroring must be subtle so that it is picked up by their subconscious mind only. If their conscious mind realises that you are mirroring them, then it could lead to bad vibes being sent to the opposite person.
Scientists believed for many years that humans determined the motives of others by analytically reviewing the other person. However, in recent times scientists have realised that the human brain uses emotion to discover the motive of others and also reads the person’s body language.
People like people that are like themselves, or that are like people that they want to be like. As humans, we do not like things that are different to ourselves. An example of this would be spiders. Many people do not like spiders; this is usually because of the way they look and for the fact that they are so different to humans. So the aim of mirroring is to make the person you are communicating with feel like you are the same as them. This will make them trust you more and will project a good vibe.
How to mirror someone
There are a number of ways you can mirror someone. You can mirror the way they talk in terms of volume, speed and vocabulary. You can mirror any hand gestures they do; a lot of people use a number of hand gestures when talking to emphasise their points. Body language is something else that can be mirrored. For example, if you are talking to someone and they have their legs crossed, you can cross your legs in the same way as well. When the opposite person takes a sip of their drink, take a sip of your drink. Once you get really good at mirroring you can attempt to mirror the way someone breathes, so that when they exhale, you also exhale. Mimicking someone’s breathing is very difficult and takes a lot of concentration, so this is something to try once you have mastered the other forms of mirroring.
After a while of mirroring someone, you will realise that it becomes automatic and you will be mirroring the person you are talking to without even trying. Once you get to this stage it means that you and the listener are now in rapport.
What is rapport?
Rapport is that feeling you get when you are communicating with someone and you think, “I get on well with this person, we are both the same.” It is when you are talking to someone and having a great time without realising it; you can feel the good vibes. There are a number of signs indicating that people are in rapport; they will talk at the same tone, volume and speed. They will have the same body position and use the same hand gestures. Basically they will be mirroring each other without realising it. This is known as synchronous behaviour.
When you build rapport with someone, you will be able to control subtle movements with that person. So if you start to tap your leg, it is very likely that without realising it, the listener will start to tap their leg too.
You want to build rapport with someone because it is a great way to gain the trust of that individual. This can be useful in the business world or even if you are in a new place and looking to make friends. Another place it is very useful is if you are in a managerial position and you have just hired a new staff member. If this staff member is nervous and shy, you can use mirroring to try and get them to open up to you. The aim is to create that good vibe with the listener so that they feel comfortable and think, “This person is just like me.”
Finally…
Mirroring is a very difficult technique to master and will take a lot of practice. However, it is very useful and powerful. It can help to improve business relationships, trust and build rapport. As mentioned above, the main reason for mirroring is because people like people who are like themselves. So if you mirror them, then their subconscious mind is going to think you and that person are very alike!
I hope that you enjoyed this article and found it informative. Please feel free to share it with your friends and family, so they too can learn all about this wonderful technique.
Author: Dillan Patel
I am a fashion enthusiast and the Fashion Director at Bon Vita. My vision is to spread Good Vibes Only #GVO through the faculty of fashion.
I believe that looking good plays a critical role in feeling good; when you feel good you’re in a better state of mind to manifest your desires!
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