Our friend Andrea has written an excellent article on limiting beliefs that create relationship problems. It is important to recognise and challenge these beliefs with more positive ones, so that you can experience much healthier relationships.
Many people are unaware their thoughts create their realities through the Law of Attraction, and this includes the state of their relationships. Whether or not we have relationship problems has a lot to do with our personal beliefs about love and companionship.
With this in mind, here are five common limiting beliefs that can create relationship problems. Are you carrying any of these beliefs? If so, I’ve included some ideas on how to let go of them.
1. Believing love and passion fade over time
It’s fairly common for people to mention how “love fades” and the “butterflies go away” after being with a partner for a while. However, because our thoughts shape our reality, this limiting belief is the prime reason why love tends to fade. Many of us do not expect lasting love, so we never get it.
To overcome this limiting belief, why not look for some evidence to the contrary? Chances are you know a few couples who’ve been married or together for decades who still have a great deal of passion.
Make it your mission to identify more couples who demonstrate how love and passion can endure the test of time. The more of them you find, the easier it will be for you to believe it is possible to capture (or recapture!) passion and love for a lifetime.
2. Believing in your partner’s flaws
Unfortunately, in relationships many of us get into the habit of focusing what our partners do that annoys us. While your partner may have many wonderful habits (like saying “I love you” every day, or listening to you when you are down), you might feel more drawn to focus on the negative traits (like when he leaves the toilet seat up, or when she spends too much money).
When we focus on what we don’t like we only get more of what we don’t like. This is why focusing on our partner’s flaws causes more relationship problems. The more a wife harps on her husband for leaving the toilet seat up, the more he will continue to do it. The more a boyfriend complains about his girlfriend’s shopping addiction, the more credit card debt she’ll rack up.
If you want your partner to be more of the person you love and less of the person you complain about, make the choice to focus on your partner’s positive traits as much as you can. Make it your mission to accept your partner’s flaws and steer your attention toward what you appreciate. This way, you will attract more of the things you love about your partner, and the things you dislike will be reduced or even eliminated altogether.
3. Believing you need your partner
Some people believe they “need” a relationship in their life. However, it is unlikely a relationship built on need will be as healthy and functional as it can be. This is because when we “need” people we create codependent relationships that are unbearable to step away from. When we build a relationship on need, it’s primarily built on fear, rather than love.
When we believe we need others, we lose our independence and become crippled by the idea of separation. Instead of being drawn to our partners because we want to be with them, we stay attached because we fear the idea of being apart, and fear is a negative emotion that attracts unwanted things into our realities.
Another common result that can evolve from needing one’s partner is an abusive or dominant/submissive-type relationship. Many people become trapped in a cycle of abuse or disrespect because their need for the relationship is so deep they cannot let go, even when it’s in their best interest to do so.
If you can realize you don’t need anyone, you will be much better prepared to find (and keep) a healthy and satisfying relationship. You will be a vibrational match to a partner who wants to be with you, and doesn’t just need a crutch to lean on.
4. Believing infidelity is inevitable
If you’d like to have a faithful relationship, it is necessary for you trust your partner will be faithful. There are many men and women out there who believe the opposite sex is chronically unfaithful and untrustworthy. However, if you believe cheating is inevitable, the Law of Attraction will most certainly bring you a partner who cheats on you. What you believe, you receive.
So if you have “trust issues” it’s again a good idea to look for evidence of what you want to see. Instead of thinking or talking about the ex-boyfriend who cheated on you, or the friend you know who dates married men, brush these people out of your focus. Spend some time looking for evidence of faithful, trustworthy people.
Although we may never really know what people are doing in their private lives, our perception is the only thing that matters when it comes to the Law of Attraction. Work to create a perception based on trust and fidelity, if this is the reality you want for your own life.
5. Believing divorce is common
How often do we hear someone say “50% of marriages end in divorce?” No wonder so many people get divorced! How about instead “50% of couples stay married!” Doesn’t that sound a lot more optimistic and promising?
The more we focus on the “epidemic” of divorce, the more we bring ourselves into the vibration of divorce, which is something many people would prefer to avoid. We can choose to look at the married/divorced issue as a glass half-empty or half-full. Choose half-full!
Some unions are successful, while others crash and burn with assorted relationship problems. To create and keep healthy, happy relationships, it’s important to clear out any limiting beliefs we are carrying about love, dating and marriage. Having positive, high expectations is critical if we want to manifest fulfilling, romantic connections.
Author: Andrea Schulman
Andrea Schulman is a former high school psychology teacher and the creator of Raise Your Vibration Today, which provides free and easy Law of Attraction techniques. She will be available for group educational seminars and webinars starting in the summer of 2015.
