10 Tips To Transform Any Relationship From Good To Great

“The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other” – Dalai Lama

A healthy open-relationship is one of your best support systems. If you find a partner who keeps you happy, it has a positive impact on all other aspects of your life as well, from your health to your relationships with others. However, both the partners must understand that romantic relationships require some attention and constant work. If you find the right person and you receive reciprocity for all the love that you put in, all of it starts seeming effortless. Thumb of rule here is the more you put in, the more you will get back. These tips can transform any relationship from good to absolutely great.

1. Redo some of the things you did in the beginning

This is the number one mistake that couples make, as the months and years roll on they just slink into the backseat. If both the partners do that, obviously it will affect the health of the relationship. They stop doing the things they did for each other in the beginning. Usually in the beginning as we are trying to know each other and also trying to woo the other person, we are more considerate, gentle and tolerant. We are more attentive to what the other person is saying. Think back to those first couple of months and start redoing some of those things.

2. Turn up the heat

Continuing with the above mentioned tip, this one is a complete no brainer!! Remember the passion between the two of you in the first year of your relationship? Have you been slacking in the bedroom as well?  Studies have shown that affectionate touch boosts oxytocin levels in our bodies. This hormone develops bonding and attachment. This is the same hormone responsible for the strong bond between a mother and her child.

Think back on how you would pay attention to your grooming before every date. If you feel your sex life has been dwindling due to life’s monotony, it is time that you spice things up a bit in the bedroom. Wouldn’t you want to entice your partner all over again? Intimacy is the cornerstone for any relationship.

3. Know your partner inside out and accept them

It is very important to know your partner; in fact become an expert on your partner. The two of you have spent enough time together and chances are you know him/her quite well.  Most of us make this mistake of saying, “Oh I know what he/she wants”, but ask yourself, “Do I really know what he/she wants? Or is it what I want him/her to want?”  We tend to get consumed by our thinking rather than concentrating on what is resonating for our partners. Do not try to change your partner or let your partner feel suppressed in any way. When you fell in love with them, it was with all their quirks and flaws. So now once you know them all, accept them. You did not enter a relationship thinking, “Oh, one day I want him/her to be this person.” So why do you want to do that now?

4. Listen and ask for what you want

We just cannot emphasize enough on good two way communication. Do not listen to respond, but to understand. If your partner wants to share something with you, or open up about something from their childhood, appreciate that. Even if you disagree with what they are saying, be a good responsive listener. Be attentive when they talk.

Similarly, there might be times when your partner does something totally opposite to what you were expecting from them. Hey! Don’t be upset. Did you tell them what you want? Don’t expect them to know what is expected of them all the time. Yes your partner is supposed to know you, but they are not psychic. Be clear and vocal about what you want. Men often like things which are simply spelled out; they don’t like when women talk in riddles or make them play the guessing game.

5. Communicate from bottom to top

Disagreements are part of the whole deal. It is natural to have disagreements and arguments in any relationship. The idea here is to unearth your feelings and not let the top layer of anger and annoyance make things worse. You might be upset with your partner if they have been careless about their health. You are upset because you are worried about them and care for them. Instead of telling them how disappointed you are and how careless they have been, how about you tell them why you are upset? Unearth your true emotions, communicate from the bottom, and explain to them how much you value them, and how it upsets you to see them hurt. Tell them why you would like them to go see the doctor.  Tension will dissolve once you let them know what feelings are driving your reactions; it is okay to be vulnerable in front of your partner and show them your real feelings.  It will make your partner understand things from your perspective, rather than becoming defensive and distant. Communicating from bottom helps in smooth communication.

6. Spend quality couple time

The two of you are together all the time, but when was the last time you spent some quality time together? It is very important to take out time just for the two of you, away from all the distractions. It could be anything at all that the two of you enjoy doing. There are many things couples do as they are getting to know each other, but with time the fun just phases out. Don’t just stick to occasional dinner dates. Do some of the things you used to do before. If you have time and budget restraints, how about a movie date at home watching some of the movies you saw in the earlier days; movies you both enjoyed watching. If the two of you work out or go for runs, how about you schedule doing that together? It could be anything at all.

7. Look for middle ground

No two people are exactly alike. You can be totally in love with each other but have very different ideas about certain things, which is completely natural. Whenever a situation like that arises, it is about finding the middle ground. If the argument escalates into a full-blown fight, it is always better to give each other some cool-off time. You can get back to the topic then and see what can be worked out. To maintain the health of any relationship, both the partners would have to make compromises once in a while. Just like in arguments at work, you don’t lose your cool because you don’t want to lose your job. Instead, you have to stay calm and find the middle ground; you should keep a similar approach in your personal life if you want things to run smoothly. Resolve any arguments that arise respectfully, and never enter a discussion with the notion that you have to win it. Instead, create a win-win situation. Recognize what is important to your partner, and once they see you do that, they will do the same for you next time.

8. Keep other interests alive

It is important to understand that no one person can meet all our needs. That is why it is very important to keep outside relationships. We don’t mean an open relationship here, but having your own circle of friends and hobbies. If you always expect your partner to hang out with you and do everything together, that is just puts unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Keeping outside interests alive brings stimulation and fresh insights into a relationship.

9. Exchange little gifts

Gifts are an excellent way to spread joy and let the people around you know how much you appreciate them. Happy couples always exchange little gifts, as tokens of their love. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to see that smile. You could just pick up their favorite food on your way home to surprise them. If you went away on an office trip, even getting something as small as a stationary item they could use in their office does the trick. It could be anything at all, it not about the money but the gesture which counts.

10. Put on your relationship hat

Consider this hat as an invisibility cloak that makes you invisible to the whole world. Every week, or if you can take out time every day, put on your “relationship hat” and be available only for your partner. This means no checking your phone on every ping or buzz.  When the two of you are spending time with each other, such as discussing your day, listen to each other and let your partner know they have your full attention. They will not only appreciate it, but will start doing the same pretty soon.

Sometimes couples start to lose focus on their partners and their romantic relationships, and focus only when there are some specific problems. Do not let that happen to your relationship; keep it healthy and going strong. Always remember your relationships, just like other aspects of your life, require constant attention and effort. Incorporating these little things in a relationship can turn any relationship from good to an absolutely fantastic one.

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